on love, marriage and commitment

People keep asking me why I don't want to get married. And I ask back, why the heck would anyone want to get married at all? I've seen and experienced countless stories of heartbreak; men who cheat on their wives, apologize, then cheat again, be contrite, then cheat again, then finally leave at the end. I've seen smart, seemingly emotionally stable women lose themselves totally in a relationship then end up broken and shattered after the guy decides that she isn't the one after all. I've seen families, mine included, broken because someone wanted to leave for seemingly "greener" pastures and yet not realize that it is the children that suffer more than the partners and grow up with a distorted view of what love and commitment really is. I've seen men struggling, women crying, children suffering. And you wonder why I want any part of that

I, myself, do not believe that I am capable at this point of making the kind of commitment that is expected and needed to make a marriage work. And I have to admit that another reason is that I could not bear it if any of the things I mentioned above would happen to me.

So for those of you who are in loving and committed relationships, I applaud you. You are one of the chosen few who have found the rarest of the rare, and I hope you continue on working for it to stay that way. Do not rely on emotions or romance or whatever it is that we seemingly want out of a relationship but instead work on unwavering commitment and steadfast loyalty. And run like hell when temptation rears its ugly head

For those who have done the hurting, I do hope that your conscience will not let you rest for some time. And I don't say that out of malice or spite. It is important that you realize the consequences of your actions and it is not alright, whatever angle you look at it. If you're a man, the excuse that it's natural will not hold up in any court. If you're a woman, this goes against every fiber of your being, so I hope you know what it is you have given up. Then, eventually, I hope you all find the happiness that you desperately crave for

For those who were left behind, I sympathize and empathize. I've gone through two traumatic experiences with my family and with my own relationship. And I am a living testament that there is life after the blinding pain. Moving on is a decision that you have to commit to everyday, and eventually, at your own pace, you'll get there. The "real" end of the world is much more devastating so take heart that this is not it

As for me, I will continue on living my life, focusing on those things that important to me. Yes, love makes the world go round, but I don't think they specifically said that it was romantic love. Love for family, friends, your calling, humankind in general, art, beauty, God; these are the things that matter to me and will continue to matter, with or without the love that has so captivated and devastated the world.

One Lipgloss I will not wear

For lack of anything better to watch on TV in Boracay (and why am I watching TV in Bora? that's another blog entry) last night, Enya and I caught this teen show on TV5 called Lipgloss. It was an attempt to do our own version of Gossip Girl, yada, yada, yada, yada

Paging anyone who knows anyone remotely connected to this show: please, please, for the love of God, take this show off air. Or fire your entire creative team and start over

This is absolutely one of the most horrible shows ever. From the acting, to the cinematography, to the outfits, to the makeup, to the dialogue, to the....you get the picture. It's an absolute train wreck. The only thing remotely beautiful about the episode was the resort where they were staying, Lago del Rey. And even then, there was a nauseating cameo by Governor Lray Villafuerte that reeked of political campaigning. That man cannot act to save his life

And I know that I am probably giving this show free publicity by blogging about them. But you have to watch it at least for ten minutes so you know what im talking about. And they have to read this to at least attempt to repair their show. It's an absolute waste

I know they probably don't have a lot of budget. But low budget does not necessarily have to translate to low quality. There are ways, if you just put a little more effort and creativity into it people!!!

Good thing someone invented ping.fm!

We Walked the Green Mile!

We've organized a few sports activities here and there, but anyone who really knows me, would know that I am one of the least "sportiest" persons out there. But when presented with the opportunity to participate in a semi-sporty event that does not involve running or throwing or catching or hitting any ball, I immediately jumped at the opportunity. And I have to be honest, the added bonus of getting a pair of pretty slippers for free was so very enticing. And that it was for a cause dear to my heart so that was the cherry on top

And so finally after a lot of cajoling and planning, my colleagues and friends and I trooped to The Fort for Ipanema's Walk the Green Mile, a walkathon to raise awareness on deforestation. To know more about this, go to the Haribon Foundation website here

I was the 20th person to sign up, probably because we were there since lunch time, too excited and keyed up. Our only wish was that the sun would go down a bit by the time we start because it was terribly hot and the prospect of walking 1.6 kilometers under the sweltering heat was too horrible to comprehend. Anyways, I used to run the 2.2 kilometer Academic Oval in UP, so I thought 1 mile wasn't too difficult (and thank God it wasn't a competition). However, that was like 10 years and 10 kilos ago, so good luck to me

Thankfully, the sun chose to hide already by 5PM, and so with the percussions of Buganda and the whole Elizalde clan leading the way, we made our way around Bonifacio High Street, some wearing the fashionable slippers of Ipanema while others chose to still go sporty with rubber shoes. I was walking hand in hand with Anja, Enya's 6 year old daughter, and to distract her (and myself) from feeling tired, we exchanged non-sensical ghost stories. And while we talked about stealing jewelry from skeletons, people around us were walking casually, no one was trying to get ahead of anyone (maybe except Lester, our photographer), all in support of a greener and cleaner world. My only complaint was that there should have been a loudspeaker with a spiel about the cause so that the spectators could better understand why the heck we were walking around High Street.

And when we finally crossed the finish line, I felt a certain sense of achievement, even though the distance we covered is probably nothing to real athletes. I don't care, at least I can say that I was able to finish a walkathon. Hah!

And our reward for our effort? Apart from the slippers, shirts and baller IDs for the first 50 participants, we were treated to sumptuous cocktails from Le Souffle (yes, we were dirty and sweaty and dined inside one of Manila's most posh restaurants)and entranced by the wonderful performance of Ballet Philippines, as they showcased Ipanema's Gisele Bundchen Seeds Collection. Oh, and for every purchase of these slippers, a donation will be made to Haribon Foundation. So if you care for your planet and your sense of fashion, go and get one now!

And yes, we still had to treat ourselves after the event to a few cupcakes at Sonja's (a visit to Serendra is never complete without cupcakes)so we probably gained back the few pounds we lost in this walkathon. Anyways, it was for a good cause, so I don't regret it.

*photos courtesy of Mark Lester Cayabyab, shutterbug for hire



Anja doesn't seem so excited, but we sure are!



You can see us somewhere in the huge crowd that walked around High Street



Walking the Green Mile and actually enjoying it



Okay, we seem to be doing a lot more picture-taking than walking



We actually finished 1.6 kilometers! What an achievement!



Ballet Philippines showing off Ipanema's Gisel Bundchen Seeds Collection



Just one of the many nice and comfy designs of Ipanema Seeds



Me and a giant Gisele Bundchen

Sky Broadband Sucks

The title says it all

I normally don't blog or even micro-blog about my frustrations with certain establishments or services, no matter how frustrated I am with them. I work in the communications industry so I know how even one blog entry can affect any company's reputation or even sales

But I've reached my limit with Sky Broadband and so here I am

I was so excited to get their services because they claim to be faster and cheaper than regular DSL (serves me right for being too gullible). The first 3 days were heavenly. I even worked from home because I wanted to enjoy being able to work and download at the same time (darn firewalls). On the 4th day, things were okay, but afternoon came and I lost signal. I called them up, and when we couldn't solve the problem through the phone, they promised to send a crew over the next day. But the next morning, I had a strong signal again, so I canceled the crew visit. Then again, in the afternoon, there wasn't any signal again, and so again, I called. I was promptly informed that there was a problem with the Barangay Laging Handa (isnt my barangay's name the best?) area and it will take at least a few days to fix it

Days turned to weeks. Then to months. Every week I would call and ask what was going on. On the 2nd week, I lost all signal completely, 24 hours. I asked and asked and asked and all they could answer was, Ma'am we're still fixing the problem. And when I ask, how long would it take, the answer would always be, they have no idea. So for almost two months, I was able to use the service for only 3 days.

Okay, technical problems happen, I accept that. But for the problem to last two months and for no notice whatsoever from Sky Broadband, there must be something seriously wrong with you. I swear, I am so tempted to rip off the banners I see in EDSA advertising a free trial of Sky Broadband for a month.

I know there are bigger problems in the world, but all I want right now is to be able to go home and do my freelance stuff and download whatever I want and watch whatever I want online. Is that too much to ask???

So yeah, I am canceling my Sky Broadband and if they charge me for 1 year as the contract states, I swear I am going to throw a massive hissy fit.

So the point of this entry is, don't subscribe to Sky Broadband unless you are 100% sure that they will not have a month long or year long technical problem in your area

once again and always

To say that the story of our friendship deserves its own soap opera would be an understatement.

College would never have been as fun if we weren't friends. The chances of us not being friends were actually astronomical, seeing as to we were only a handful in our block. And the moment I first talked to you, I knew we would be soul friends. We weren't really that different. We both came from damaged families, both love music like itself, both emotional (although I still maintain that you are the "crazier" one. agree?), both came from strictly Catholic families then converted to Born Again Christianity at around the same time I don't remember the exact details of all our college adventures. But I do remember the nostalgia that creeps into me every time I see the Sunken Garden, CASAA, former CCC and Christmass tambayans, and whenever Sir Paolo Manalo is mentioned. I don't remember how many tears we shed with each other over countless boys, failed exams, questions about God and life, and yes, tears of laughter over such trivial things as the word "boylet". And even after college, the bonds were never broken. We didn't actually have a blood compact or said the actual words, but it was understood that we would be each other's maid of honors, our kids would grow up together, we would grow old together

Until the incident

Thinking about it now, brings a sharp pain to my soul. Not because of the guy we both loved and who is now yours (whether you like it or not. haha), but because of what it did to us. Never in a gazillion years would I have thought we would make those stupid decisions, those frakking horrible mistakes that would forever alter the course of our friendship and our lives But we did. And we paid dearly for those mistakes. And I all but gave up on love and my best guy friend and girl friend. And I will forever regret that time of my life until my death bed

Until, miracle of miracles, one of us (i dont even remember who) started to tentatively reach out, with fear and foreboding at first, then with more confidence and determination

And from the ashes of a seemingly broken relationship, there arose forgiveness and love Of course things will never be like they were, not just because of what happened to us, but because we become different persons with every passing second of the day

But who needs juvenile, nostalgic friendship when what you've got is a brand new one, with has literally stood the test of time and life?

And now that in a few months, you will be more or less 5,000 miles (according to google) from me, I am both saddened and excited for you. Excited, because you are going on a new journey with the man who once came between us (and who should now take care of you, and if he doesn't i will kick him all the way to timbuktu) and your beautiful little boy. Saddened, because once again, I will "lose" you, but not really, because, what are a thousand miles compared to what we've been through?

What I want to say, and I am making it a public declaration mind you, is that nothing can ever ever ever come between us again. Not him, not New Zealand, not even ourselves

I am truly blessed to call you once again, and always, my friend

i was a writer in another lifetime

I used to write

I never got published, nor received any accolade of sorts, but I think I was a pretty decent writer, if my high marks from my writing classes since elementary are any indications. My English high school teacher, who is my favorite teacher of all time (shout out to Mrs. Delosantos, Canossians! where is she now anyways), always had high hopes for me, even though she constantly reminded me that i am too lazy to actually write an epic someday

When I look back at some of my writing, only around 20% make me cringe, so I think i was never that bad. And I only cringe at those stuff that I wrote when i was in love or broken hearted because now they seem too trivial and corny and useless

But somewhere along the way, as predicted by the aforementioned English teacher, I became too lazy to even finish a short story or a decent article or even a coherent blog post

Hence, therefore and thereafter, giving the impression to some people that all I am good at is writing an events checklist, jotting down a few sentences for a presentation, composing numerous emails to my clients and answering stupid surveys on facebook and multiply. I am not even worthy of an invite to an event that should be able to produce blog articles, even though I repeatedly begged and cajoled and I promised not to eat dinner or get a freaking giveaway. All I wanted was to see the event, write down my thoughts that other people would hopefully read and help in promoting the product (therefore adding to the agency's good name, not that I am such a significant person in the blogging world, but it still is another blog after all)

Anyways, I digress and that is not my entire point

My point is this, I will try to write again, and hopefully some of the magic is still there. Maybe then they might take me seriously and see that I am more than just a pretty face (HA!)