Sunday, February 22, 2009

once again and always

To say that the story of our friendship deserves its own soap opera would be an understatement.

College would never have been as fun if we weren't friends. The chances of us not being friends were actually astronomical, seeing as to we were only a handful in our block. And the moment I first talked to you, I knew we would be soul friends. We weren't really that different. We both came from damaged families, both love music like itself, both emotional (although I still maintain that you are the "crazier" one. agree?), both came from strictly Catholic families then converted to Born Again Christianity at around the same time I don't remember the exact details of all our college adventures. But I do remember the nostalgia that creeps into me every time I see the Sunken Garden, CASAA, former CCC and Christmass tambayans, and whenever Sir Paolo Manalo is mentioned. I don't remember how many tears we shed with each other over countless boys, failed exams, questions about God and life, and yes, tears of laughter over such trivial things as the word "boylet". And even after college, the bonds were never broken. We didn't actually have a blood compact or said the actual words, but it was understood that we would be each other's maid of honors, our kids would grow up together, we would grow old together

Until the incident

Thinking about it now, brings a sharp pain to my soul. Not because of the guy we both loved and who is now yours (whether you like it or not. haha), but because of what it did to us. Never in a gazillion years would I have thought we would make those stupid decisions, those frakking horrible mistakes that would forever alter the course of our friendship and our lives But we did. And we paid dearly for those mistakes. And I all but gave up on love and my best guy friend and girl friend. And I will forever regret that time of my life until my death bed

Until, miracle of miracles, one of us (i dont even remember who) started to tentatively reach out, with fear and foreboding at first, then with more confidence and determination

And from the ashes of a seemingly broken relationship, there arose forgiveness and love Of course things will never be like they were, not just because of what happened to us, but because we become different persons with every passing second of the day

But who needs juvenile, nostalgic friendship when what you've got is a brand new one, with has literally stood the test of time and life?

And now that in a few months, you will be more or less 5,000 miles (according to google) from me, I am both saddened and excited for you. Excited, because you are going on a new journey with the man who once came between us (and who should now take care of you, and if he doesn't i will kick him all the way to timbuktu) and your beautiful little boy. Saddened, because once again, I will "lose" you, but not really, because, what are a thousand miles compared to what we've been through?

What I want to say, and I am making it a public declaration mind you, is that nothing can ever ever ever come between us again. Not him, not New Zealand, not even ourselves

I am truly blessed to call you once again, and always, my friend

Thursday, February 19, 2009

i was a writer in another lifetime

I used to write

I never got published, nor received any accolade of sorts, but I think I was a pretty decent writer, if my high marks from my writing classes since elementary are any indications. My English high school teacher, who is my favorite teacher of all time (shout out to Mrs. Delosantos, Canossians! where is she now anyways), always had high hopes for me, even though she constantly reminded me that i am too lazy to actually write an epic someday

When I look back at some of my writing, only around 20% make me cringe, so I think i was never that bad. And I only cringe at those stuff that I wrote when i was in love or broken hearted because now they seem too trivial and corny and useless

But somewhere along the way, as predicted by the aforementioned English teacher, I became too lazy to even finish a short story or a decent article or even a coherent blog post

Hence, therefore and thereafter, giving the impression to some people that all I am good at is writing an events checklist, jotting down a few sentences for a presentation, composing numerous emails to my clients and answering stupid surveys on facebook and multiply. I am not even worthy of an invite to an event that should be able to produce blog articles, even though I repeatedly begged and cajoled and I promised not to eat dinner or get a freaking giveaway. All I wanted was to see the event, write down my thoughts that other people would hopefully read and help in promoting the product (therefore adding to the agency's good name, not that I am such a significant person in the blogging world, but it still is another blog after all)

Anyways, I digress and that is not my entire point

My point is this, I will try to write again, and hopefully some of the magic is still there. Maybe then they might take me seriously and see that I am more than just a pretty face (HA!)

Saturday, February 07, 2009

25 Things

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you're supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. at the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. you have to tag the person who tagged you.

1. I am deathly afraid of rodents of any kind. If you want me to not speak to you for a week or forever, you only have to scare me with rodents. But please don't

2. For some irrational reason, I can't get on and off escalators properly. I have to step on at the even numbered steps from where I started counting. And I can't for the life of me figure out why

3. Like Ailene, I don't know how to ride a bike or whistle. Or snap my fingers. Or blow bubblegums. Or wink. Or raise my eyebrows.

4. When I was 6 years old, I stole my cousin's stationery (I think it was you Ate Carren, right?) and sold it to my classmates

5. I am a big pop culture fanatic. Ask me anything about movies, music, books, tv shows, gossip, I would probably know it. Well, except for local pop culture, I am clueless about that

6. As of this moment, I have no plans at all of getting married or having children. Not just because there is no one even remotely on the horizon, but because I love being single more than being in any kind of long-term relationship. And also, if I could marry my job, I would. Haha

7. I absolutely don't like R&B/hiphop music (except for a few artists) or house/trance/techno music (except for Chicane and Massive Attack). I would rather listen to a dozen one hit wonder pop alternative bands than listen to a song by Chris Brown and the like (I can't distinguish them from each other anyways)

8. I love vampires but I have no patience at all for anything Twilight (except its soundtrack). I would rather read the Watch series by Sergei Lukyenko, watch True Blood and Moonlight, or even read Anne Freaking Rice. But no Stephanie Meyer for me, thank you very much

9. I am a geek and I'm not ashamed of it

10. I've never been out of the country, but I plan to change all that before I turn 30. Which is in a few months. And I still don't have my passport by the way

11. I devour books by Tolkien, Gaiman, Atwood, Roth, Plath. On the other end of the spectrum, I collect Patterson, Garwood, Shreve, Roberts and a few old Mills and Boons books. I also like books aimed at teens (Artemis Fowl, Septimus Heap and the likes) but I NEVER read chick lit. I think they're detrimental to my health

12. In spite of # 6, I love attending and/or organizing my friends' weddings. There's something about seeing people I know pledge their love to each other and me helping them have a stress-free wedding day that just brings contentment to my heart

13. To de-stress myself, I organize my files and my Itunes folders

14. I'm a download whore. I get antsy if there's nothing downloading on my bit torrent

15. I may seem talkative and outgoing, but put me in a situation where I don't know anyone and I clam up and panic and hyperventilate

16. I am not photogenic. I have never practiced what's my best angle. I dunno how to smile. I automatically stick my tongue out. I probably have 2 or 3 decent pictures. But I am not really bothered about it

17. For people who know me after college, it is very surprising to them to know that I weighed 80 lbs when I was 18

18. I would rather sit in a coffee shop drinking coffee and talking rather than go to a bar that doesn't have a band

19. In connection to # 18, I don't dance

20. I consider National Bookstore my personal mecca. I am obsessed with buying post its, ballpens, notebooks and other knickknacks. I don't always use them, but I still buy them

21. One of my dreams is to sing in a Broadway revue. I Dreamed a Dream or On My Own or I'm Not That Girl or Memory or The Movie in My Mind

22. I like The Jonas Brothers. I want to marry Joe Jonas. So sue me

23. I think tennis players and football players (not American football okay) are the hottest athletes

24. Contrary to what some of my officemates say, I am not gay. I did think i was for about 15 minutes way back in high school, but I concluded that I like men too much

25. I like answering lists like this, even though it is so tiresome