Monday, November 26, 2007

the music and the sadness and the happiness

"Which came first, the music or the sadness?"
- High Fidelity, Nick Hornby


When all else fails, music will always be my constant companion. Be it in a noisy jeepney, an overcrowded mall, an eerily quiet office, or in the deepest pits of despair, music is the silent witness to all the joys and pains of my heart. One sign that I am slowly recovering from depression is when I get shivers when I hear songs that are not necessarily about pain.

Yes, I wallow still in the notes and lyrics that express the deepest longings of my heart, but when my heart starts leaping at beats and riffs and words that are actually about love or some sort of positive emotion.

Yes, I still experience that painful contraction whenever I hear one of the songs that I "gave" him, but I can slowly remember the fond memories that came with the songs and I can vaguely see the future that will have me laughing at whatever im feeling right now

Yes, I will still listen to angry girl music, be it old, new, pop or totally unheard of, but I will start listening again to songs that are filled with hope and optimism in the hopes that they might rub off on me

So welcome back, music that both pains and warms my soul

Monday, November 12, 2007

I Love…

I wont even bore you with the details of how my life has gone to crap the past few days. Just thinking about those things will make me want to…never mind

So instead of focusing on the crap, I just want to share with you the things that have been bringing me joy, be it big or small, new or rediscovered. It just might inspire you to take a look at your own crappy or happy life and be grateful for big and small blessings.

  1. My job – seriously. If it weren't for my job, I would have probably lost it. And as much as I complain about certain clients, the lack of sleep, the stress, the pressure, you do know that deep down inside I am happy doing with what I am doing
  2. Bath by candlelight – my bathroom light is going bonkers so I started just using candles for my bath time. And even now that it's fixed, I still prefer candlelight. Something about it is so relaxing, okay and yes, romantic even. Don't ask me why
  3. Making playlists – For the past months I've just been putting my ipod on shuffle mode because I was too lazy or uninspired to actually choose what I want to listen to. But lately, I've rediscovered the joys of matching my mood or activity to what I listen to. There's the "running around UP while emo-ing playlist". Or the "trying not to die from boredom while running on the treadmill" playlist. Or the "I'm pretending to not be heartbroken aka not listening to bitter and sad songs" playlist. And of course my personal favorite "Shit, she's listening to Sitti again so I better use my headset" playlist.
  4. Living on my own – don't get me wrong. I miss my family like crazy. But there's really something about living on your own that makes me feel good inside. Yes I'm broke, a lot of times hungry because I'm too lazy to feed myself, and sometimes lonesome, but at the end of the day, it feels good to know that you can actually take care of yourself. Plus, decorating your own place is always a joy
  5. Sondre Lerche – I want to marry him
  6. Christmas – I'm a Christmas girl, and I go gaga over the season, no matter what circumstances I am in. Puto bumbong, decorations, shopping for gifts, the songs. Who cares if I've never had a boyfriend during Christmas?
  7. Waiting for my best friend to come home this Christmas – Keyj! Beach in December? Yes please!

So your turn. What's been bringing a smile to your face lately?