the music and the sadness and the happiness

"Which came first, the music or the sadness?"
- High Fidelity, Nick Hornby

When all else fails, music will always be my constant companion. Be it in a noisy jeepney, an overcrowded mall, an eerily quiet office, or in the deepest pits of despair, music is the silent witness to all the joys and pains of my heart. One sign that I am slowly recovering from depression is when I get shivers when I hear songs that are not necessarily about pain.

Yes, I wallow still in the notes and lyrics that express the deepest longings of my heart, but when my heart starts leaping at beats and riffs and words that are actually about love or some sort of positive emotion.

Yes, I still experience that painful contraction whenever I hear one of the songs that I "gave" him, but I can slowly remember the fond memories that came with the songs and I can vaguely see the future that will have me laughing at whatever im feeling right now

Yes, I will still listen to angry girl music, be it old, new, pop or totally unheard of, but I will start listening again to songs that are filled with hope and optimism in the hopes that they might rub off on me

So welcome back, music that both pains and warms my soul