while my guitar gently screeches

I have to admit, I'm a frustrated rocker chick. Yes, I know that I can sing, but my voice isn't something that can knock someone's socks off. Yes, I do know a few chords or two but my playing is mediocre at best (and my wittle fingers can't make bars). And the songs that I wrote back in the days when I was brave enough to write now make me want to vomit.

But that doesn't stop me from fantasizing that I regularly play in a dark, dank and smoky bar, singing and playing my guitar out, releasing all the pent-up female angst that had been bubbling inside me. In my fantasies, I sing like Dido, look like Katie Holmes and I always get the guy, whether he be the bad-ass drummer or the emotionally untouchable record executive. And yes, I am extremely popular and filthy rich but I still prefer to play in those random bars because I don't want to lose my artistic sensibility and sell out to those bubblegum pop alternative machines. (it sometimes scares me that my "imagined life" is more vivid than the real one that i'm living in)

I know I would probably never have my own album or even record a song, because, after all, that isn't my real goal in life. I am happy with the way my life is turning out and i wouldnt want to have it suddenly and magically turn into a rock star life because i dont think i would be able to handle that (among other things). But I do have one goal that I plan to fulfill this year: to be able to perform somwhere, i dont care where or how, singing and playing the guitar at the same time. I've done both individually, but never at the same time, because I easily get flustered.

So I guess I have to learn more songs other than my trio of songs that I've already semi-mastered that drove people crazy when we were in Tagaytay. You can only listen to Linger, Oo and Stranded over and over again for so long

Until then, I'd just have to be content with a preemptive album cover...