last night...

i felt the Christmas air for the first time.
and with that air comes a sense of hope and lonesomeness and giddiness all rolled into one.
the air smells like puto bumbong and carols and hugs and chocolates and also a suffocating awareness of being alone even when in a crowd
but i will choose to ignore that feeling and concentrate on the good vibes

yep...Christmas has officially begun for me.
i just hope it doesnt end up with me banging my head on the wall again, like it has been for the past couple of years

i shall remain optimistic. and my puto bumbong awaits me. and maybe someone will hold my hand at the end of it all...

but if not, at least i enjoyed the lights