of boys and beaches

i'm heading to the beach tomorrow for the first time in 8 years

yes, i know i'm a loser. but somehow, the opportunity has never arisen before or i was just too broke or too lazy to arrange something with anyone. but the curse is going to be broken tomorrow morning as the whole office flies off to boracay, hopefully without carrying a single thought of work with us

which brings back memories of the last time i was at the beach. i don't remember exactly when (sometime around 8 years ago) or where (somwhere in between baguio and manila) or what happened (except for the pictures that i have)

but i do remember the feeling of excitement that i carried with me going to the beach and then the hopelessness that i took back with me to manila

for me to tell you the story of the guy i was hopelessly in love with at that time and how he subtly and gently let me down (i refuse to say broke my heart because fortunately, it never happened)and how we have remained good friends until now because he happened to marry my high school best friend and they have a gorgeous daughter together, would require a bottle of beer and much persuasion on your part

for me to tell you the story of another guy who took those wonderful pictures of me and who happened to break my heart into a million pieces years later and how we have remained civil and sometimes a bit friendly in spite of everything that happened, would require three bottles of beer, rum coke and a little bit of persuasion on your part (if i'm not yet drunk out of my mind)

for me to tell you the story of what i was thinking when i was looking out to sea (which was when will i ever find someone i can love and who will love me in return, which unfortunately is still the question in my head every other hour of the day) would require a cup of coffee and a willing ear

and for me to tell you why i associate beaches with boys and hopeless longings, would require an analysis of hollywood movies influence on my life and a brief analysis of my psyche

here's to new memories of new beaches (and just maybe, new boys)