the calm after (or before?) the storm

To say that last week was emotionally tumultous for me is to say that the past few weeks was really, really hot.
It's funny, because externally, nothing much happened. Well, at least nothing that I care to admit here in this public domain.
But inside, I was such a mess that I couldn't concentrate much on the things I'm supposed to be doing, which resulted in a semi-disaster work-wise. But that's another story.
What's even more frustrating is I have no idea what message it is that my heart is so desperately trying to convey to me. And again, I'm such a scaredy cat when it comes to confronting my personal issues and demons. I would rather wait it out till the next episode, which probably results in weird episodes like this.
All I know is, one afternoon, I just felt this urgent urgent need to break down and cry. And when people started freaking out and asking me why, I couldn't give a decent answer which led to more tears of frustration.
But I guess it was just one of those days, or a combination of sleep deprivation, pesky hormones, unrequited emotions that refuse to be named, and the fact that I havent had a good cry for so long.
And after the floodworks, there was laughter. Yes, I think my officemates have officially labeled me a cuckoo

But, I guess, now that I have calmed down, I may have the courage to analyze why it is that I am acting like a crazy, pregnant woman (and for the nth time, no I am not!). Otherwise, I might just totally go bonkers the next time around

So here's to a week of sanity which I desperately need